A Tourist's Guide
(Page 3)

The Glasgow Web Site is indebted to Gavin Nicol for this substantial contribution to the understanding of the local Patter.

Amfur

"Amfur uparoad" = I am leaving this hostelry and heading for home

This can be combined with anurra as follows:

"Amfurranurra" = I, on the other hand, will be staying on for more drinks

"Ers anurrawan in five minutes" = there'll be another bus along in five minutes

This can be combined with dyewanta as follows:

"Dyewantanurra?" = are you ready for another drink?

"Dyeswanta wee hauf" = would you [plural] like a little refreshment?

"Dyewanta sliderorraMacallum?" = would you like an ice cream wafer or a cone? [usually to a child]

"Dyewantaegotaera bingo?" = would you like to go gambling?

Erzyer

"Erzyer murra shoutinye" = your mother is calling you

"Awnaw, erzyer faitherdrunkagain" = I'm afraid your father has returned home inebriated once more

"Erzyercyboes-50 penceabunch!" = Spring onions: only 50 pence per bunch!

"Aw, erzyer Auntie Mae felldoonasterrs!" = Heavens! Aunt Mae has tumbled downstairs!

"Erzyerchancenoo, askhuruptaedance". The lady you wanted to dance with is looking your way.

Jefancia

"Jefancia weerundoontaera Lake District?" = would you like to go on an excursion to the English Lakes?

NB: the negative form is Dyenófancia

"Dyenofancia weenightnoot?" = wouldn't you like to paint the town red?

   
  ...and from Andrew M Lindsay, Palace of Westminster

"Ya numpty" 

You are of low inteligence and have made a terrible error of judgement. 
"awayupmahumph"   Please go away as you are starting to upset me.
"Izarafact"  Do you mean to tell me that your statement is true?
"see you, your claimed"   I wish to notify you that I intend to challenge you to physical combat at some point in the very near future, please ready yourself.
   

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